Archive for the ‘SNOWCAPALYPSE’ Category


Supernatural: The Snowcapalypse Begins


Scene:   (Sam and Dean are holed up in a shabby motel room but what’s new about that? Since they’re accomplished credit card fraudsters you’d think they’d spring for better accommodations. Sam has just returned from a ‘hunting’ trip to Pennsylvania a state/province that’s just north of Transylvania. )

Dean:    You really did it this time, Sam. I told you not to go to Punxsutawney. So as usual, you just ignored me and went anyway, but why, did have to take that demon Ruby with you?

Sam:      Well, we got a really good rate at the bed and breakfast.

Dean:    And what about the groundhog? Did you forget the reason we were even talking about Punxsutawney in the first place?

Sam:      I know Dean. I’m sorry.

Dean:    Sorry doesn’t cut it this time, Sam. First, there were sharknados in Los Angeles. Then, there was the Snowmageddon of 2009, where all life in Atlanta stopped. You and Thor were supposed to stop the Ice Giants then. But, you two let them escape because Thor was having a bad hair day and you were off womanizing, or demonizing, or whatever it is you call it, with Ruby. Next time I’ll trust that trickster, Loki, before I ever depend on you two again. Sammy, you’re my brother but sometimes you really piss me off.

Sam:      I know Dean, but Ruby is really hot.

Dean:    I expect so Sammy; she is a demon from Hell after all.

Sam:      So what are we going to do?

Dean:    What’s this we shit? This is on you. You’re the one who let the Inner Circle release him.

Sam:      Well, according to you I wasn’t even supposed to be in Punxsutawney.

Dean:    That’s beside the point. You were there. You let them release the beast. Now he’s out. He saw his shadow and there’s gonna be six more weeks of winter and the Snowcapalypse has begun.

                Do you know that right now the snow angels are looking for us? If it weren’t for that sigil that Cas gave, us we’d be Zachariah’s snow-cone bitches right now. The snow angels want us to finish this thing with Phil the groundhog. They want the final Snowpacalypse to happen.

Sam:      I know Dean; I’m sorry; I never meant to start the Snowpacalypse.

Dean:    What’s done is done. I can’t say it’s okay, but we are brothers. We do what we always do. This is like any other hunt. We find this groundhog from Hell and kill him.

Sam:      Do you think Bobby could help us?

Dean:    I don’t think so. Since he’s been in that chair, I think his brain is paralyzed too ‘cuz he just spends his days watching “Ghost Adventures” re-runs, swearing at the TV. He thinks Zack is Zachariah.

Sam:      What about Cas?

Dean     Lost a bet and lost his mojo.

Sam:      Dean, where do you think God is in all of this?

Dean:    God? God is on a beach somewhere having a pina colada, and laughing about His little Snowpacalypse joke he’s played on Georgia.

Sam:      Dean, you’re such a jerk.

Dean:    And you’re a bitch. Let’s get packed up and on the road. We’ve got a long drive ahead of us to get this groundhog.

Sam:      Remember,  Dean, don’t drive angry.